“It’s not a woman’s job to get smaller and smaller until she disappears so the world can be more comfortable”
-Glennon Doyle Melton
I am tiny, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have big thoughts. It has been a process for me to learn to take up space. To radiate positivity that reaches far beyond my tiny bones. For as long as I remember, I have shrunk. I have memories of my father telling me to stand up straight, unfolding my hunched shoulders into alignment. “Chest out. You’re here, it’s okay.” I would quickly revert back into my quiet self. “She knows the answers but she won’t talk” was the complaint of my teachers for about 15 years. I was way too stressed out for an 8 year old.
“I decided that I wasn’t bossy. I was strong.
I wasn’t loud. I was a young woman with something important to say.”
Fast forward to today. I have been doing my best to balance making things happen with allowing things to play out as they are meant to be. I am learning to be the lead character of my story, to act, not to be acted upon. To speak when it matters, but work hard in silence, letting my success be the noise. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept. When you realize your energy is precious and finite you realize that it is something worth protecting.
Gratitude and affirmations have really helped this process. In the most frustrating low points I always try to remind myself that I am healthy, able bodied, and able to dance. My family is fine. I am smart. I am capable. I am kind. I am deserving of love and happiness. I will achieve beautiful things.
Choose you, you’re worth it.